Jayson and I had a counseling appointment earlier this week for our donor egg process. The session was intense and it seemed like we covered so much in such a short time. Our clinic requires the counseling before we are able to move forward with the egg donor process. They are affiliated with a counselor that works with the clinic to evaluate couples and give recommendations to our clinic. Our counselor actually went through infertility treatments herself and I really appreciate that because I felt like we are talking to someone that truly understands the emotional, physical, and financial struggle. It definitely makes it easier to open up to her.
One area that we really focused on was how we will move forward should donor eggs not work for us. Will we continue to try or is this the last step for us? To be honest, Jayson and I didn’t really know how to answer that. At this point in our journey, we are taking one day at a time. It’s hard for us to think about it not working out, however I know that is something we have to be prepared for.
I remember when we did our first round of IVF and we became pregnant, we were so happy that we didn’t prepare for the possibility of a miscarriage and when that did in fact happen, we were completely blindsided and devastated.
I think we have learned from that mistake and while we are hoping for the best, we are also preparing for the worst. Even though we are preparing ourselves for the fact that this might not work for us, I don’t know what we will do if it doesn’t work. We have always talked about adoption down the road should the opportunity present itself, however financially I don’t think we could afford to do anything right away should donor eggs not work for us.
We constantly have to balance the emotions of trying to stay positive and hopeful yet also remain guarded, realistic, and prepare ourselves for the worst possible scenario because in reality, that is infertility. When you become too positive and think everything is going as well as possible, that’s when something unexpected comes up and you have to learn how to move forward and accept the hand you were dealt.
The doctor has recommended donor eggs for us and believes it is a really promising direction for Jayson and I to go. We trust our doctor and know he wouldn’t lead us astray, however with that being said anything is possible and we have to prepare for that.
It’s definitely hard to try and balance your emotions so you don’t lean too far to one side. As we get closer to starting the process, those emotions are becoming harder to juggle. We will continue to take one day at time and pray all works out for the best.
With love,
Haley