The Answer to My “Why”

Until yesterday, this blog has mainly been for me to write and get my thoughts and feelings out.  Jayson shared my blog on Facebook yesterday and at first, I was so worried.  These posts are very personal and it’s not always easy letting others know how you’re feeling.  I’m always one to try and put on a smile and go on like everything is okay, even if I’m hurting inside.  

It wasn’t long after he shared it that I started receiving private messages from people sharing their stories and thanking me for putting mine out there.  I had so many tears yesterday and so many different emotions.  Sadness for the couples that are dealing with such heartache.  There are people that are in the beginning stages of treatments and terrified and want some advice on what to expect and what the road might look like.  Then there are those that have been down this road for years.  Couples that had no issues with their first child, then all of the sudden they found themselves on the infertility road to conceive again.  I even had one lady reach out to me that struggled with infertility and now she is walking the road again with her daughter that is struggling.  My heart breaks for each and every single one of you and I wish I could take away all the pain.  

If you’re like me, you often wonder why God has put you on this path.  It is a question I ask myself almost on a daily basis.  Even though I know I’m not suppose to understand, I still try.  I usually get nowhere….until yesterday.

Mixed in with those tears of sadness were tears of joy.  I told Jayson I was so happy that maybe my words were helping others, if nothing else, only to know they aren’t alone and that there are others having the same feelings and emotions that they are.  Jayson looked at me and he said, “I hope this answers some of the “why” for you.”  *Insert big ugly cry here*

Maybe I’m going through this journey because God wants me to help others?  There may be more to it, after all he is God and his plans are far greater than I could ever imagine, however how could this be a bad thing?  So I’m going to run with it, I’m going to continue my blog in hopes that I can reach out to those that are on a similar journey and help them even if just in the slightest way.  

If you are struggling with your “why”, please read the quote below and have faith that He can think of plans far greater than you can ever imagine.  Hold on, it may be a crazy emotional journey, but it will be worth it.

With love, 
Haley

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