I have been thinking a lot lately about a conversation I had with one of my friends last week. We went out for dinner before meeting up with the guys to watch the KSU bowl game.
At dinner we were talking about the fertility journey. I was talking to her about donor eggs and how the process works. I explained that while we want to do it tomorrow, it will take some time in order for us to get that kind of money saved up to begin the process.
She has one son that is a second grader and she stated that she is perfectly content having her one kid, so she wasn’t stressed about if they would have another. If it happens, great, if not she wasn’t going to stress about it.
I have to admit, I was completely jealous of this. I kept thinking, what does it feel like to be content?
In High School I was so ready to get out of the house and move to college. In college I couldn’t wait to be done and not have to do any school work anymore.
Then once I started a “real” job, I was ready to find the one and settle down and get married. I found that guy and he is AMAZING, however now I’m so focused on having a child and wanting it SOOO badly that I’m not content with the life I have.
I realized that this is a choice. There are always going to be things that we want out of life, there may be a period of waiting, or it may never happen however I need to be content with that.
I have so many blessings in my life. I have a new job that I started about 6 months ago that is really flexible and easy-going. I have wonderful family and friends. Two adorable dogs that I spoil rotten. I have an absolutely amazing husband who treats me incredibly well. I’m going to chose to be content with that and pray that God has in store for us an amazing child(ren) for the future.
This doesn’t change my desire for a child by any means, however while I’m waiting for God’s plan to unfold, I’m going to be content and enjoy the many blessings that He has given me.
With love,
Haley