One thing that I have learned over the years of dealing with infertility is that there is a lot of support out there for women. I follow a couple of women on Facebook that post things on a daily basis and they host monthly support meetings in their city. There are other women who have blogs similar to mine for women to read and get support from.
One thing you don’t see a lot of is support for men. I don’t know the reasoning for that. Maybe it’s because the topic is still taboo or that maybe men don’t like to discuss it. Whatever the reason, I wish it wasn’t the case.
Jayson has been on this entire journey with me and has experienced all of the emotions and financial struggles that I have.
I think often times maybe people just assume that it’s the woman going through the physical part – which for the most part is true, however there are fertility treatments that some men have to go through too that are physically challenging.
It’s so important to remember the men in this journey too as they have many of the same feelings and emotions that us women do. With that being said, I had asked him to write something for my blog for me to share with all of you. Hopefully this gives a little insight into a man’s perspective:
Being a middle school history teacher I am always stressing to my students that it is important to learn from the past because it directs one’s future path. In our infertility journey what I have learned is no matter the number of times we’ve been told no it has only made us more focused on our desire to be parents. In the book of Psalm, the Bible reads, “Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him.” We as a couple have dedicated our time, money, and energy in preparing for that gift. Even though we have not received that gift we are not ready to stop the process.I’ve watched my wife as she has mentally and physically gone through such a challenging regiment of infertility drugs, sonograms, and blood tests. Countless trips to the clinic requiring time off from her job and miles on the highway. No matter the needles, bruises, body pain, or exhaustion, she has been the strength through this process. Her unwavering faith that God will reward the desires of our hearts has only inspired me to continue this journey with her leaving no page unturned.
I watch my wife and how she interacts with our nephews and nieces and how they naturally gravitate to her loving personality and natural ability to provide a loving and caring relationship that they feel safe. Several couples make life goals to travel the world, upgrade their living situations, or move up the career ladder and those are all respectable goals. The last three years as a couple we have focused all our resources towards being parents. I know we are not ready to give up on that dream. We look forward to having the privilege of being up till 2a.m. looking at each other and asking who’s turn is it? Stressing over the call from school saying they fell off the swing set. Watching them rip off the Christmas wrapping paper in anticipation of what Santa brought. Watching with pride as they earn their high school diploma. Wiping a tear away as I give her hand in marriage or my wife has her mother/son dance at his wedding. No vacation, new home, or job promotion can compare.
Through the countless insemination sessions, IVF cycles, and blood tests, we’ve always ended with a disappointing result of either not being pregnant or miscarrying. After four failed attempts, it is natural for us to feel like our journey had the door slammed in our face. However our doctor has suggested donor eggs and said he believes we can be successful in becoming pregnant. Family members and friends are supportive and say how they can’t believe we are still as strong as we are. It definitely has been a struggle, a test of strength of our faith in each other and God, but at the end of each “no”, my wife and I find ourselves back at the beginning stronger than before. Stronger in our dedication in becoming parents.
I would like to end with this, “Behold, children are heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.” Psalm 127:3. Thank you very much for reading our story.
