You may not have been aware that Sunday, April 23rd started 2017’s National Infertility Awareness Week. I have been thinking about this week for awhile now and what I would write here on my blog in order to give this week the attention that it deserves.
Jayson and I spent Sunday doing something extra special to not only bring attention to this week but also something to remember our four babies that we lost due to miscarriage. We had a photo session with Amanda from Bow Creek Photography and I can’t wait to see what she was able to capture.
When I get those pictures, I will be sure to post some of them on here for you all to see.
Waiting for Baby Bird is a woman that I follow on Facebook. She writes blogs and frequently updates her Facebook status with inspiration for women and men struggling with infertility. She posted this on her Facebook page and I couldn’t have said it better myself:
“What is infertility, you ask?
The dictionary would tell you that it is simply being unable to conceive within a year of actively trying or being able to carry a baby to full term. But it’s far more than that. And it’s far more than just an inconvenience. It’s a disease of the reproductive system that affects 1 in 8 couples. And like any other disease, it is frustrating. It is gut-wrenching. And it is depressing. It’s like a grave that keeps following you around day after day as it swallows your hope and buries more and more of your dreams with the tears you just shed.
It is desperately longing to be pregnant. Wanting to know what it feels like to have a life growing inside of you. A life that has your eyes and his smile. A life that you created in love.
It is walking down the baby aisles and touching the onsies, picking up the booties, and wondering when. And asking why.
It’s loving a child you have never met. And missing them fiercely every day.
It’s emptiness as you walk by the bedroom that should be a nursery. It’s loneliness as your house is absent from the pitter patters of tiny feet in the morning or giggles from bath time at night.
It’s frustration that leads to desperation as you try every vitamin recommended, test suggested, treatment procedure offered, medicine given, and diet instructed.
It is feeling unworthy. Because maybe your faith is too weak. Your prayers are not enough. Or your past too damning.
It is trying to understand why prostitutes, drug addicts and those who abuse their children are given such blessings. But you? You seem to have to fight and work and struggle beyond your strength and exhaust all of your resources to receive.
It’s a constant war between your body and your soul. A war that you must fight to win daily and a war that is exhausting, yet you battle on.
It is trying to remain hopeful, yet realistic. And failing to find the balance.
It’s hearing the words, “I’m sorry, but there is no heartbeat.”
Or expecting to walk out of the hospital with a birth certificate, but instead it’s a death certificate.
THAT IS INFERTILITY.
It’s more than just an inconvenience.
It’s more than just the inability to conceive.
It’s dream shattering. Soul crushing. And heartbreaking.
And that is what 1 in 8 couples deal with on a daily basis. Couples that could be your friends, neighbors, or family members. So please keep them in your prayers because the prayer you pray for them today, could be the one that makes a difference in their lives tomorrow.
**In honor of this week being National Infertility Awareness week, please feel free to share in order to help educate, inform, and break the stigma**”
She definitely has a way with words and the moment I read that, I had tears running down my face and I thought man did she nail it!
It’s so hard to explain infertility to someone that hasn’t experienced it themselves. The grief and the heartache isn’t something that is easily put into words to help people grasp the magnitude of the pain that is infertility. This is why I decided to start this blog.
Due to the fact that it is so hard to explain to people, most people decide to keep silent. When people don’t understand they tend to not want to talk about it as it may make them uncomfortable therefore leaving the person feeling like they don’t receive the support they were hoping for. There are also the situations where people think they understand, but really don’t, and end up saying hurtful comments. Men and woman can also feel ashamed that their body isn’t able to do what is should be able to do naturally. These are all reasons why people choose to stay silent.
I decided I didn’t want to stay silent anymore because the more I talked about it, the more I had people reaching out to me with their story and how they finally found someone who gets it. I want to help people and let them know that they aren’t alone, I understand their pain, and they have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.
I challenge all of you to reach out to your friends and family members that you know are going through this and offer them some words of encouragement. “I’m thinking of you”. “I know this must be hard.” “We are here if you need to talk”. All of these are acceptable but please, please don’t ignore the issue!
For those of you reading this that are currently going through infertility and those of you that have been there, I’m praying for you. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. This battle is definitely not for the weak. Keep the faith, stay strong, and know that you’re not alone!
With love,
Haley